vertically challenged

I’m reading through Mitch Clem’s My Stupid Life from the beginning and yeah I said that exact first line and then complained about shoes for like 20 minutes the other day when the dumb bow on my dumb shoes came untied.

Etienne Aigner makes them, but they don’t sell them anymore. (I got them last spring.) I just looked on Amazon though and they have one with black stripes and one with beige butterflies (why?!) for sale there.

Why didn’t anyone tell me it was National Lobster Day? I would have worn these shoes.

Just making these shoes look even more klassy with glitter, thanks to this tutorial.