I’m a loser.
Inspired by tonight’s episode of The Chris Gethard Show, here is a completely incomplete list of things, in no particular order, that make me a loser:
- Last night, I tried to beat up my cousin for talking shit about Veronica Mars, but I can’t throw a punch so my friend tried to teach me and then a bartender yelled at me for fighting.
- When I was like 4, I went as an old lady for Halloween.
- Despite the fact that I did not have cable growing up, I have probably seen more DCOMs (do I really have to explain this acronym to you?) and ABC Family movies than people who did.
- My ears are too small or maybe just too weirdly-shaped to wear ear buds so I can only wear regular headphones.
- I thought “segue” was pronounced “see-guh” and just had the same definition as “segway,” which I thought was spelled like the scooter. This was up until college.
- When I was in high school, I took a dance class with mostly 5th graders because there weren’t any beginner classes for teenagers or adults at the dance studio closest to my house.
- One time I went to Red Lobster in Times Square at midnight because I really really wanted some of those awesome biscuits, but obviously it was closed and I was drunk.
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- ohlivyuhuxtable said: i was textchattin w/ a guy for a while a few mos ago and he kept texting “segway” when he meant “segue” (ahh why did he always say that???) and his phone kept capitalizing it as Segway but he still didn’t get it was wrong. more of a loser than you!!
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